The lights of the season remind us of the warmth of friends and family gatherings.

For those who can’t make it home or may be spending the holiday alone, the seasonal celebrations can amplify feelings of loneliness.

If you feel lonely, know that it’s okay. Try going into it and really feel the loneliness.

Like boredom, anger or jealousy, you’ll discover that it’s just another feeling. Accept the loneliness as much as you can and allow the sensations in your body to arise without tensing against them.

Notice and Observe

Upon closer observation, you’ll find that loneliness doesn’t exist. It’s just another illusion of the mind.

You desperately want to cling to something or to somebody, just so that you won’t feel lonely. So you call up a friend and feel better. You pretend to yourself, “This man or woman is truly wonderful.”

This illusion gives you a certain comfort, but it cannot create a reality where all fear disappears.

Behind the illusion, is a pain in your heart, because you know that all relationships are temporary. Tomorrow they won’t be here and you’ll be faced with yourself once again.

Just the word “lonely” feels like a wound, or something hurtful, absent or missing that needs to be healed.

The word “aloneness” doesn’t have the same connotation. Aloneness simply means wholeness or completeness. No one else is needed to complete you.

What To Do With Loneliness?

It’s not that you must forget your loneliness, it is that you must become more deeply aware of your aloneness.

I’ve learned to embrace and really enjoy my aloneness. I’m comfortable with the quiet, peaceful relationship I made with myself.

It’s a place where there is no one to depend on or cling to, where you ruthlessly look at yourself and you’re no longer afraid of what you see. In this aloneness, I find tremendous power, strength and clarity. It feels like I’m growing up.

We come to the earth alone, and we’ll leave alone. Even the cup of coffee you enjoy with a friend is really enjoyed by you, and you alone.

When you become more fully conscious of your aloneness, you’ll find that it is a beautiful place to be. It becomes your freedom from the fear of being lonely.

Watch your mind, be aware. Become more and more conscious, so that finally you are only conscious of yourself. You will discover a fullness overflowing with the true reality of existence.

When you truly get to know aloneness your loneliness will disappear.

Repeat after me, out loud and with full conviction.

I believe the following to be true and I see evidence of these statements around me all the time.

I appreciate my aloneness. I take pleasure in my aloneness. It’s okay to be alone

The New Year is a great time to embark on a new challenge or direction. Get expert help from coach Ken LaDeroute – book a 30 minute consultation today.